Nintendo Okie

Howdy:

Funny Videos

Cute Characters

See Ya’:

Broken Controls

Bad Interface

No High Score Board

When Tony asked me to review Squeeballs Party for DS I was kind of looking forward to it.  I knew the game would be a collection of min-igames but that’s why I was excited.  Some of my favorite games on DS are the ones you can pick it up and play for 5 minutes before setting it down.  Soon after I inserted the game into my DS, I realized that this wasn’t going to be the experience that I was looking for.

The story that set up the game is that Squeeballs are toys made on an island.  Before the Squeeballs can be shipped out to toy stores, they have to undergo rigorous testing to make sure only the best make it to store shelves.  It is a cute story that sets the tone that Squeeballs Party tries to achieve.  On the front of the box, Squeeballs Party boast “70+ Mini-Games.”  In reality, this means that it has six mini-games with several variations of each one.  The six games are 10 Pin Bowling, Cooking, Paint By Squeeballs, Shock, Crazy Lanes and Feeding Frenzy.

10 Pin Bowling is exactly what it sounds like, it’s bowling.  You swipe your stylus from bottom to top of the touch screen to roll the ball.  After that ball is rolling, you have a few moments of “After Touch” where you can apply english to your ball to make it roll sideways.  Variations include hitting a set number of pins with a given amount of balls.  The touch controls work well enough but trying to roll the ball where you want takes some practice and you will probably end up in the gutter several times before you get the hang of it.

Cooking is one of the mini-games that doesn’t work so well.  Just like the name implies, you are cooking a meal using Squeeballs as the ingredients.  The top screen gives you commands (chop, stir, etc.) that you act out on the bottom screen within a given time limit.  The problem is that the controls don’t seem to respond quite right.  Several times I failed cooking and did not understand why.  Usually it turns out that I was not scribbling my touch screen fast enough.  Sometimes I scribbled so hard that I was worried that I was going to damage my DS.  That is never a good sign.  Also, it is a little morbid to crop and grate Squeeballs as they yell, but it is funny.

Paint By Squeeballs is the worst game by far.  The idea is that you fire Squeeballs out of a slingshot onto an outlined picture.  You have to fire the correct color Squeeball onto the appropriate spot of the canvas to apply the right color.  The funny part is that the balls splat onto the picture.  The bad part is that the controls are completely backwards to me.  The bottom screen shows your slingshot with loaded Squeeball, so as you move the stylus down, the ball will hit a higher spot.  This makes sense if you were shooting a real slingshot, but the problem is that you have a targeting reticule on the top screen that shows where you are aiming over the picture.  This is where the backwards part comes in.  I look at the top screen and want to move the stylus up to go up but I end up going down since the controls are inverted on both the X and Y axis.  If there was an option to change the controls it would work better but with my brain fighting me, I often fail to color enough of the picture before the time limit runs out.

Shock is a game where you move a hoop over an electrical line without shocking yourself.  It is a lot like Operation except less fun.  At first I thought the point was to travel to the opposite end of the line, but after failing one game I realized the variations of this game will have you traveling up and down the line to collect electric balls.  The top screen is supposed to give you instructions on what to do.   So either I wasn’t paying attention or the games never told me what to do.  Touching the line will take away from your point total which works as a life bar of sorts.  This is the only game that uses this idea.  So one would assume that if you have a score, there is a leader board that will keep track of high scores but there isn’t.  You either pass or fail.  Again, the poor Squeeballs are tortured by being electrocuted to dust.

Crazy Lanes is very close to bowling.  This time instead of a bowling alley, you have a gauntlet that you will travel down by swiping your stylus across the screen.  It is similar to Kororinpa: Marble Mania.  You will be given challenges such as collecting stars or knocking over pins before you have to cross the finish line.  As usual, there is a time limit.  In Crazy Lanes, the poor controls from bowling are amplified since you have to navigate a course.  The time limits are so short that you have to move very fast, so fast that you will not be able to control the bowling ball and will fly off the track and fail.  It gets even more frustrating when obstacles and ramps are added.  I was tempted to throw my DS more than once due to the poor controls of Crazy Lanes.

Feeding Frenzy is my favorite of the games in Squeeballs Party.  The mode is like a first person shooter as you have to shoot Squeeballs at charging enemies to stop them.  The monsters will change color to let you know which Squeeball to feed them.  Aiming is done with the stylus and shooting is done by using the D-pad or X, Y, A and B.  Each direction is a different color ball.  Like Paint By Squeeballs, the reticule appears on the top screen and you aim with the touch screen but now the controls are not inverted.  I suppose the reasoning is that you are firing a cannon instead of a sling shot.  My main problem with this game is that the enemies take too long to change color.  So I will feed an enemy the wrong ball several times and it seems that every time you feed the wrong color you have to feed the enemy that many more correct balls before it will stop charging.  Again, the game keeps score without any leader board to record it.

The game includes some funny videos (which look really good for the hardware) to introduce the mini-games but there are so few of them, you will end up watching the same ones several times and eventually start skipping them.  The manual encourages you to play the Challenge Ladder, which simply unlocks a new mini-game once you defeat one.  It also rotates you though the six base games and makes you play each different variation of them all.  The game also has a multiplayer mode, but it is only one on DS.  You take turns with one other player as you compete in a number of rounds.  Each round is a different mini-game.  I guess this is where the score comes into play.  It really bugs me that the score in single player in meaningless.  A high score board would at least give players a goal to try for.  Another complaint of mine is that the touch controls do not work in the menu screens.  Several times I would try to select a game mode or mini-game by tapping the screen.  Then I grumbled to myself when I remember that I had to use the buttons.

Squeeballs Party is not a good game and I encourage everyone to pass on playing it.  Broken controls combined with unforgiving time limits are all this game has to offer.  The small bit of humor the game provides is not enough to carry it.  The sloppy interface is just unforgivable.  Why have menu options on the touch screen if you can’t select them with your stylus?

1 out of 5 Terrible