Nintendo Okie

There are a number of things I do on a regular basis. One is write crazy things on the internet that people read on a daily basis. Two is generally eat a nice helping of fat producing biscuits and gravy for breakfast and three, check out strange games based on Christianity that don’t do anything to further the subject in the minds of non believers. I love Christian based video games because they’re so well meaning, but ultimately so poor in execution that they make for a fun time despite all of their flaws. I’m going to let you know that this Retro Redux may contain references to religion that some people may find offensive. As a Christian I respect everyone’s right to worship, or not, as they choose. Please respect that right in return.

During the days of the Nintendo Entertainment System there was one company known for creating unlicensed games designed to promote Christianity around the word. That company was Wisdom Tree. They were the minds behind such brilliant games as Bible Adventures, Exodus, King of Kings and Bible Buffet, a game which, in reality, had nothing to do with the Bible outside of some random trivia questions. One of their better games was actually based off of the Legend of Zelda and that game is called Spiritual Warfare. Like the title says you’re waging war, this time on the unbelievers inhabiting the world you live in.

In order to do this you’ll navigate around the world armed with the fruit of the spirit. The takes the form of one of five different fruits; pears, apples, pomegranates, grapes and bananas. They each have different properties and you can carry up to four of them at a time. Also you’ll pick up vials filled with God’s Wrath. In the game they are used much like bombs in the Legend of Zelda. While handy to have, and you’ll have large quantities of God’s Wrath available that seems like one of those things you’d only pull out when completely desperate. You’ll also be picking up the six pieces of the Armour of God. These have different traits associated with them. For example the Belt of Truth lets you move heavy obstacles like rocks out of the way opening up previously inaccessible areas.

Moblins and Octorocs have been replaced with people who do not believe in Jesus and you’re attempting to convert them all by hitting them with the different fruits of the spirit. If you do this they’ll automatically fall to their knees, repent of their sins and many of them leave their soul for you to collect. These souls are your currency in the game. New Fruits of the Spirit can be bought with collected souls. You can also use them to regain lost health by praying on the inventory screen. It seems, to me, very counter productive, and this is where many religious games fall apart, to use combat to turn people to Jesus. It didn’t work during the Crusades, it’s not working now. That’s not really how you go about things. Do not be too eager to collect those souls immediately. Many times the converted person will have a demon leave their body that you must combat with your righteous fruit.

Visually the game isn’t terrible to look at. It’s not great, by any means, but the environment and the characters won’t make you throw up to look at them. There are a few different types of unbelievers in the game ranging from people just walking around, to some people carrying what look like knives, and people riding on bikes. There are twelve different environments that you’ll go through while you throw fruit at people in an effort to turn them from their wicked ways. They range from a park to city streets, an airport, warehouses, and ultimately to the Demon Stronghold. Each of these different places is immediately recognizable and you’ll generally know exactly where you are at any time. As far as the audio experience goes, it’s quite frankly atrocious. I’m a big fan of Christian music of all sorts. The hymns used in the background of the game are hardly recognizable in their chip tunes forms and really grate after a while. Luckily there is an option to turn them off. There aren’t many songs either and they’ll loop continuously leaving no real emotional attachment to any areas based on the music. I would highly recommend finding your favorite music and playing that at the same time you’re playing the game.

The game, thankfully controls very well. You have a character who moves a little bit faster than Link does in the original Zelda game and you always have ranged attacks at your disposal so you don’t always have to risk losing health to take care of your enemies. It’s this very nice ability to control your character that makes the game playable. It’s very easy to navigate around the world. The menu screen is easy to navigate allowing quick changes of your fruits for the situation at hand.

Outside of that there are a few flaws to deal with. The original Legend of Zelda had a nice battery backup that kept track of everything you’d done giving you easy in and out of games without the loss of progress. There is a system in Spiritual Warfare, but it’s based on a very unwieldy 32 character password.

One of the problems I have with games based on religion is that they, until recently, have had to be video gamey. That meant there needed to be some form of combat, progression and conflict to make it a compelling experience. The problem with that is that it goes against everything that Christianity stands for. Advances in technology and games like Heavy Rain prove that you can use games now to tell compelling stories in a completely different way and maybe some company can come along and create a game that does just that and gets people engaged in ways other than combat.

Despite that, if you’re looking for a decent game, built on a similar concept to the Legend of Zelda, then Spiritual Warfare is worth a look. It’s not great, it’s got plenty of flaws, but the combat system, controls and idea are something that make for an experience that you might find yourself enjoying. If you’re not already a Christian it’s not going to convince you that it’s worth being hit on the head with a grapefruit for Jesus, but it’s not going to do anything to damage your faith if you have one. And who wouldn’t want to wear armour that makes you look like you stepped out of 60′s fantasy movies starring real world politicians on performance enhancing pharmaceuticals.