I was poking around on my computer and stumbled across something I wrote in 2006. Apparently I was so disgusted about my Red Steel experience, I put my thoughts into words. Oh, and remember when everybody’s Wiimote straps were breaking? Yeah. I figured everybody would get a kick out of this.
Broken Wii Straps – 2
Damager Controllers – 1
No other collateral damage.
Both Wii-motes still work perfectly.
Like others, I read the reports of breaking Wiimote straps. I had seen the videos and looked at the pictures of the aftermaths. It seemed to me people were simply swinging the controller too hard. Little did I know how easy it was to break the tiny strap.
While playing Red Steel I developed a bit of a love/hate opinion about the sword fighting. But even though you can’t practice sword fighting as you can shooting, I was still able to get by. Nearing the end of the game I reached a checkpoint followed by a sword fight. On my first attempt I made quick work of my adversary and continued on with my mission. But, thanks to my poor grenade skills, I died and went back to the previously mentioned checkpoint. I was already a bit upset about blowing myself up but my anger turned to disgust as I repeatedly lost the sword fight I had so easily won before. My downfall was my lack of understanding on how to perform the special sword moves. After losing the fight three times in a row, I decide I could no longer hold the Wiimote and Nunchuck that continued to fail me. With a simple flick of the wrist, I threw the controller combo to the floor. Much to my surprise, the strap broke!
For the next five minutes, I sat in my chair staring at the frayed strap ends. I was in utter disbelief on how easily the strap broke. A cold feeling ran down my spine as I remembered all the times I had wildly swung the Wiimote through the air defending myself in Red Steel, hitting home runs in WiiSports baseball, going for quick knockouts in WiiSports boxing, and picking up impossible spares in WiiSports bowling. I realized how close I had come to harpooning my 50-inch TV with a six-inch plastic spear.
After I gathered my thoughts, I snagged the strap off my second Wiimote and went back to Red Steel. Unfortunately, I had not given myself enough time to calm down after the last battle. Radiply, I lost the fight three more times, each one quicker than the last. With each loss, my anger turned to rage and my sword skills transformed into nothing more that spastic arm movements. Finally, my temper took over and I flung my Wii-mote into the couch. I knew full well the strap was going to break but at that point I really didn’t care. Sure enough, as the controller left my hand, I heard and felt the strap break. The Wiimote, not restrained by the strap at all, continued on for a turbulent but soft landing on the couch cushions.
After about five minutes of complaining to no one but myself, I began to contemplate playing Red Steel without the safety of the controller straps. Determined not to admit defeat, I took a deep breath, made sure I had a firm grip on the Wiimote and tried to topple my sword-wielding nemesis once again. I was once again frustrated by my futile attempts to pull off any special moves. After another two losses, I became so disgusted with myself that I threw the Wii-mote at the couch again.